Demetra Anagnostopoulos speaks about her participation at the Vancouver Peace Summit

Demetra Anagnostopoulos is the VP of Event Coordination & Funding Strategy for WCCC-US and also the Director of Global Client Solutions and Marketing for Interaction Associates. She reflects on her participation in the recent 2009 Vancouver Peace Summit.

“I am on the train returning from the Dalai Lama Center’s 2009 Peace Summit in Vancouver. What an extraordinary experience. Not only did I find myself in a myriad of “small miracle moments” over the course of the four days, but the experience of being there with colleagues in our field such as Meg Wheatley, Peter Senge, Peter Block, Dawna Markova, Wilford Welch, Juanita Brown — and our own Samantha Tan, who co-facilitated a World Cafe for a group of 120 business and social sector leaders — was inspiring. Charles Holmes, a new friend to me and Interaction Associates (IA), is a sensitive and brilliant designer, and was the gracious host of the Conversations for Change session that ran in parallel with the Peace Summit itself. I was lucky to go to both.

However, of all of the moving stories, the deep connections, the substantive dialogue, the Nobel Laureate panel with His Holiness, Betty Williams, Jody Williams, Miraed McGuire, Desmond Tutu’s daughter (he was unable to make it) and Mary Robinson, one part stood out. It was a single part of a single dialogue on the meaning of one word: COMPASSION that sent my synapses into overdrive with his Holiness’ validation of Interaction Associates’ mission and work in the world.

The dialogue lasted for about two hours, and in the midst of the rich conversation (and a clear statement by all that peace is NOT “Kumbaya and flower-children”, but hard hard work that requires you to put your life on the line every single day) the Dalai Lama intervened and said, “It is now time to make some clear distinctions, so that we all understand what we are talking about when we talk about the word ‘compassion’.”

He then proceeded to make the distinction in this way: He said that there is a basic level that transcends all ,and that is that we are all human beings on a planet with other living things, and that we all have the right to exist, survive, and have a happy existence. He went on to describe how we get ourselves into trouble along the way, and one of the ways is to confuse “compassion” and “attachment”. He said that when one sees another human being and perceives that human being to be a part of him or her (much like a mother or father with a child), that the perception of association or ownership — the emotional connection — with that other human being is “attachment”. This attachment is, by its own nature, biased. It clouds judgement, as well as one’s ability to do several things:

-See that person clearly for who they are;
-Not feel responsible or anxious about the actions and outcomes associated with that person;
-Be able to help that person exist in the world without pity or dependency.

And attachment happens instinctively and without question . . . it is unconditional in many ways, but because of the emotional content associated with it (I perceive you as a part of me and therefore I am identified with you), it interferes with our clarity of thinking, and sometimes our judgement or ability to make wise choices. We become less able to take action that will ultimately benefit that person because we are afraid of abandoning our attachment. This is where he said that people confuse “compassion” with “pity” — when attachment is what’s driving us.

Compassion however, as he defines or perceives it, is the ability of a person to disagree with or push back on a stance, issue, or idea put forth by another human being — but to hold the understanding and awareness that the idea is separate from the human being, and that the human being by virtue of being a living entity on the planet has the right to survive and pursue a life of happiness. He was essentially saying that compassion is one’s ability to separate an idea from a person and to detach the idea from the validity of that human being’s existence in the world.

Aside from the fact that all of the skills, tools, and strategies that we teach and practice at Interaction Associates are directly aligned with this concept, what had a further impact on me was when the Dalai Lama said, “and it is this ability to have compassion and to separate the ideas or issues from the human being that requires the most education, because it is not always a natural thing to be able to do. It’s a practice like martial arts.” He used his own practice of martial arts (I believe it’s aikido) to say that using energy and pushing back to protect a human being from an idea that is destructive or wrong or damaging is not a bad thing — rather, it’s the use of violence against that being that’s bad and wrong. Push against the idea/stance, not the person, because he or she has a right to exist.

That he sees the true skill of true compassion as a practice, a learned capability, something that requires education is completely aligned with the mission and work of our company. At the end of the day, our values of Human Dignity, Stakeholder Voice, and Principled Action are what represent this ethos and underlie so many of the tools we have taught over the last 40 years.

This realization, that His Holiness sees skills — and in our language that means things like the abilities of inquiry, pressure-testing another’s thinking, agreeing to disagree, giving feedback that’s hard without hurting another person or messing with his or her dignity, and making (in our case) organizations places that are worthy of the human spirit — as the skillset required for peace in the 21st Century only reinvigorated my own commitment to the work that we do in the world and its true value at a pure and basic level, at a human level.

At the end of the day, and strategically, we have chosen to focus on and work with leaders, teams and agents of change in organizations for clear and compelling reasons: So that those who lead, those who follow, and those who support action that affects people inside organizations are equipped with the ability to use their own microcosm within an organization as the world that they can change… because as the Dalai Lama and Betty Williams both said, “It starts person by person.” When each of us can change the small part of the world that we inhabit by using skills and tools that create and nurture this idea of compassion, then together we can change the world that we all inhabit together.”

 

By bkalsi | October 18, 2009
Topics: WCCCI - In our words | No Comments »

Thank you for making me feel alive

I just came back from the Women’s World Awards in Vienna, where I went in my official role as VP Operations Lead for Betty Williams charity, but I also had an opportunity to put on my other crazy hat as Paparazzi for WCCCI (you will find the photographs I took under our Photo Gallery).

I said to Betty and Rusti (Betty’s Executive Assistant and dear friend) on the day of the awards ceremony that I am so grateful to them for making me feel alive. We can go through life existing from one day to another, but this event will change me forever. Having been a refugee from Uganda in 1972, I saw how my mother, Surinder Kalsi, had to face life and fight for the life of her family. My life is, and always will be, a testimony to her strength. Having the opportunity to go to Vienna has just proven to me that we need to do more to recognize the contribution that women make on a regular basis. It may be an award; it maybe as simple as a Thank You; but it should never be taken for granted.

The women who were awarded their honors are amazing and talented women who truly deserve to be recognized for their contributions. I may miss a few people by accident, and I truly apologize for this, but I wanted to get this to print ASAP.

Her Majesty Queen Noor of Jordan – Host of the Women’s World Awards.
I have always been in awe of your achievements. As an international activist on the issues of world peace and justice, I know that this world is a better place for the focus you have brought in bridging the gap through international dialogue. You graced the stage with your presence, and you have graced this world with your wisdom. May you always be blessed in everything you do.

Marilyn Carlson Nelson – awarded Women’s World Business Award.
To my dear new friend, you have shown the world that there is true value in respecting a person for their worth. In your acceptance speech you thanked all your customers and employees, and in the official program you stated “Every employee deserves our respect.” When people ask about success in the business world, it is by following your example. Your heart is truly compassionate about all life, and god bless you always for reaching out your hand and touching so many people. You have succeeded in business because of this. And I have to say, you have succeed in life by being an amazing human being. I look forward to reading your book on “How we Lead matters” this week.

Esther Mujawayo-Keiner – awarded Women’s World Social Award.
As you stood on stage, you captured our respect for one women’s struggle to make sure the widows from Rwanda’s genocide found a voice. Through your own heartache at the loss of your husband and 300 family members, you chose not to be defeated. Today, your organization AVEGA (Association de veueves du genocide d’Avril - http://www.avega.org.rw/English.html) is helping “Every woman to have a chance.” Your spirit has shown that women can give life in more ways than one. By the way, your three daughters are outstanding young women. They are so proud of their mother, and I can tell they have your passion for doing great things. As I said to you at the Awards ceremony “asante sana Esther.” I hope you do well with the sale of your book “Ein Leben mehr” and I hope the women of Rwanda find their peace and happiness.

Claudia Cardinale – awarded the Benazir Bhutto Women’s World Tolerance Award.
When we chatted at dinner, you said you didn’t understand why you got this award, but I am here to tell you again what an amazing woman you are. You were given an amazing gift that propelled you into an international celebrity. You could have been happy with the fame and fortune, but that is not who you are. As a UNESCO Goodwill Ambassador you are helping to defend women’s rights. And with all your other humanitarian causes, you have shown that you are truly beautiful both inside and outside. It was my honor and privilege to meet you at the awards ceremony and being at the same table with you. God was certainly smiling on me that day. I will never forget this experience.

Elle Macpherson – awarded Women’s World Career Award.
We watched the footage of your career on the screen at the awards ceremony, and all I could think about is that there is an amazing heart that beats to the needs of so many people. Your work as a global ambassador to RED, UNICEF, and Smile Foundation show that there is never enough time for everything we want to do, but we do it anyway. You are also an accomplished business woman, and mother to two boys. Your life shows passion, your life shows compassion, and I truly hope we will hear more from you. As they say “watch this space”….because I am positive Elle Macpherson will be doing more great things with her life, and her career has just started.

Lina, Nina, Lisa and Sepideh – Women’s World Award organization team.
There are not enough words to thank you all for your help while in Austria. Everything was flawless and more importantly, you are amazing women in your own right. You made our trip so successful and memorable. I hope you will all keep in touch with us at WCCCI.

Finally, to two men – Georg Kindel (Chairman and Founder of the World Women’s Award) and Christian Baha (Founder Superfund Group).
What you have done has been outstanding. I truly wish you all the best for future shows. This world is a better place for your commitment to giving women the limelight they deserve and receiving global recognition for their contributions.

In our thoughts: Nujood Ali – World Hope Award.
Absent due to government intervention. In the official program it states “she refused to accept her fate”….and I can tell you now, we are all fighting for you and promise you, the world will hear your voice.

Peace and Best Wishes to you all.

Bobby Kalsi
VP Operations Lead
World Centers of Compassion for Children International

 

By bkalsi | March 8, 2009
Topics: WCCCI - In our words | No Comments »

A letter from His Holiness the Dalai Lama to Betty Williams

His Holiness the Dalai Lama sent a letter of congratulations to Betty Williams on her work in opening the first City of Peace for Children in Matera, Italy.

We welcome you to read, in his own words, his praise for Betty Williams and WCCCI.

 

By bkalsi | January 9, 2009
Topics: In Your Words | No Comments »

What is YOUR View?

The World Centers of Compassion for Children welcomes your thoughts on social and cultural issues that weave throughout our world. We welcome your views on current affairs and we look forward to reading your comments.

 

By admin | August 13, 2008
Topics: In Your Words | No Comments »